Giftitude
or Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width

Tis the season, so to speak.

To be honest I don’t really enjoy Christmas, appreciation of this season requires a level of childlike wonder I no longer find easily accessible within the dusty corners of my cynical mind. I tried to hold onto it for as long as I could but ultimately the well just ran dry. Call me Ms Grinch, I guess.

The one thing in my favour however is that I love buying people presents. It’s curious because I don’t really enjoy receiving presents so much anymore, perhaps because my interests have grown so esoteric that I’m remarkably difficult to buy for. I come from a long line of people who are difficult to buy for, and as such I have picked up a few pointers on how to select a gift for a person you barely know.

It’s all about learning to identify Giftitude

Continue reading “Giftitude
or Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width”

Noteworthy
or Be Like Bill

By far the best stock line I’ve heard from a professional walk-around magician is a response to offers from spectators who offer to buy her a drink as a sign of appreciation for her work. That line is “I’m afraid the only drink I can accept is one I can fold up into my pocket and take home with me.”

One day I hope that I will be an audience member in a show who makes such an offer, receives this line, and can immediately hand them a Capri Sun.

Of course the line is a request for tips, something which to those of us who work for a fixed wage kind of balk at. Indeed the general assumption of the corporate classes is that anyone who is offering a service must have been offered payment upfront or they wouldn’t be doing it in the first place, as such asking for recompense after the fact seems at best naive and at worse downright cheeky. I did a busking course a few years ago and it really did feel kind of dirty to ask for money after the show, like I’d somehow conned people into watching something they thought was free and then delivered a bill.

I was no better than a hotel minibar.

On an intellectual level, I know this is nonsense, people deserve to be compensated for their labour, and asking at the end allows people to decide the value provided with full experience of the product. There’s just something visceral about it though, a idea that runs so deep in the psyche of the capitalist wage slave mindset that it affects us on an emotional gut level.

The same magician who told me the line about folding up drinks also had some advice for performing bill in lemon, which was to leave returned banknotes as messy as possible. Covered in bits of lemon sticky juices, to make the audience less willing to take them home and more likely to just hand them over.

Sadly I can’t think of a pay to replicate that in a post cash society but as a magical purist, who is in it for the art, we need to think about how we can perform bill in lemon at all. Come on a journey with me.

Continue reading “Noteworthy
or Be Like Bill”

Slice of Lith
or An Acquired Aesthetic

The year was 2004 and a group of cosmopolitan, metropolitan, Neapolitan (we all liked ice-cream) friends invited me to visit them in London, from whence we travelled to Camden Lock Market and I tried on many cool articles of clothing, none of which would comfortably stretch over my corpulent frame. I did however obtain some jewellery made from old circuit boards, all mounted in fixings that turned my skin green. 3/10, should have gone to Cyberdog.

Cyberdog wasn’t really my aesthetic at the time, but what IS an aesthetic?

Aesthetic is often used as a complicated way of referring to a look or fashion style, such as vapourwave, steampunk, goth, bdsm or the cultural appropriation of the Harajuku fashion scene.

Believe it or not this is a continuation of my series on the future and subversion of coin magic, but I’m coming at it from the other direction so buckle in as I explain a little art history.

Continue reading “Slice of Lith
or An Acquired Aesthetic”